The Great Cornholio
by megacoldfusion
Summary: Days ago after seeing what Beavis in his alter ego had done, Dan swears terrible revenge will he get his revenge or will unforeseen events hinder in his quest for revenge.


**The Great Cornholio**

Disclaimer: Beavis and Butt-head are created and owned by Mike Judge, Dan Vs. is created and owned by American Flash animated created by Dan Mandel and Chris Pearson

* * *

**Five days ago**

**Los Angeles California **

**Convenience store**

**20XX**

**0:1:30:0 hours night time**

* * *

This city is the most populous city in the U.S. state of California and the second most populous in the United States, after New York City, with a population at the 20XX United States Census of 3,792,621. It has an area of 469 square miles (1,215 km2), and is located in Southern California. The city is the focal point of the larger Los Angeles–Long Beach–Santa Ana metropolitan statistical area and Greater Los Angeles Area region, which contain 12,828,837 and nearly 18 million people.

Los Angeles is also the seat of Los Angeles County, the most populated and one of the most ethnically diverse countiesin the United States, while the entire Los Angeles area itself has been recognized as the most diverse of the nation's largest cities. The city's inhabitants are referred to as "Angelenos."

Nicknamed the _City of Angels_, Los Angeles is a leading world center of business, international trade, entertainment, culture, media, fashion, science, sports, technology, and education, and has been ranked the third richest city and fifth most powerful and influential city in the world. The city is home to renowned institutions covering a broad range of professional and cultural fields and is one of the most substantial economic engines within the United States.

As the home base of Hollywood, the city leads the world in the creation of motion pictures, television productions, stage productions, video games, and recorded music. Additionally, Los Angeles hosted the Summer Olympic Games in 19XX and 19XX.

A lonely convenance store is open at night at this hour. The store clear appears to be napping and no one else is around, it is a clear but warm night out in the city of angles as the wind blows a little bit from the northwest and stars can be seen in the night sky. One would think there are angles in this city, however at times people can be wrong. An ugly looking American made car pulls up to the parking lot of the convenace store and a caucasian male steps out of the vehicle.

He is dressed in blue jeans, black shoes, and a black T-shirt that says "JERK" in capital letters. He has black hair, green eyes, a soul patch, and round yet sharp teeth. He is roughly well known as his name is Dan, for he is a very hostile and short-tempered man with a mission to get revenge on anyone and anything he deems has wronged him.

Whiping his eyes he grumbles as he walked out of the car and heads into the convenace store. For what purpose you may ask, so he can buy a can of cat food for his pet Mr. Mumbles. Walking already inside as he stares at the store clerk who is sleeping at the counter.

"Of all the incompetence." He growls in annoyance tone in his voice "Stupid store clerk."

In the background strange noises are heard like munching and muttering in the store.

Dan paused and frowned as he grew angry at those ridiculous noises, some of the food appears to be eating in a real hurry. He noticed someone else is here, but Whom Who could it be? The noises appear to be coming from the animal food goods isle of where the cat food is for his pet Mr. Mumbles as several boxes are thrown but the store clerk is still asleep snoring away. He storms over to the canned goods isle as he sees someone he has never seen before and something someone is doing is making him even angry than he is now.

He spots a teenage kid eating all the cat food, the cat food that he is buying for Mr. Mumbles. He has an underbite and an obsessive stare on his face and blonde hair with blue eyes. He is wearing a wearing a Metallica T-shirt over his head, with gray shorts and black short sneakers. Unknown to him the teenage kids name is Beavis or in his alter-ego of the Great Cornholio as he hails from Highland, Texas. But why is he here it is because he accidently fell in a vat of sugar in a sugar factory and became the Great Cornholio.

"Hey ignoramus put down that cat food I needed for Mr. Mumbles?" asked Dan "And who are you?"

The teenage boy is mumbling and rumbling as he is shaking his head with his hands held high and then stops to look at Dan. Beavis or his alter ego of the Great Cornholio kept on eating all the cat food in the boxes until there is none left.

"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO." said Beavis "I NEED TEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE."

"Teepee for your bunghole." growled Dan "Are you that stupid, I should kick your goddamn ass for eating all the cat food."

"ARE YOU THREATING ME?" asked Beavis.

"You bet your ass I am!" said Dan "I am the master of all forms of combat prepare to feel my wrath." Dan gets into a fighting position and charges at the teenager.

"THEN FEEL THE WRATH OF MY ALL MIGHTY BUNGHOLE." said Beavis "FOR I SERVE THE ALL MIGHTY BUNGHOLE."

He turns around bends over and farts as the gas fart is so loud and smelly flames came out of his butt, for Dan never saw it comes as he is engulfed in the smelly flames that smelled like cat food and everything else he ate. Dan bellows out as he is in pain, cannot see, and then all of a sudden he trips over a canned food as he flies in the air backwards. Dan finally lands on top of the sleeping male clerk with a hard crash that echoed everywhere while Beavis walks out of the convenience store muttering words over and over. Dan shakes it off and looks around as he roars in anger as he does this all the time he raises his fists in the air in rage and shouts out this.

"**THE GREAT CORNHOLIO"** roars Dan in anger.

Then all of a sudden as he does that Dan is hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat as the store clerk had already worken up, pressed the silent alarm to summon the police and then he takes the baseball bat as he slams the man in the back of the head knocking him out cold on the floor. The store clerk will wait until the police arrive to take the man away as his store looked trashed.

* * *

**Five days later**

**Burbank, California **

**Chris and Elise house **

**20XX**

**0:12:30:0 hours afternoon time**

Inside a suburban home is a married couple Chris and Elise, one is a notorious slacker and the other is a common house wife by day but a government agent when she is called into action. Chris has on a blue t-shirt, an orange over-shirt, drab cargo pants, and white socks with brown flip-flops. He has light brown hair and blue eyes. He has a nearly uncontrollable appetite and is a bad driver. Elise is wearing a a white T-shirt with red trim, blue hip huggers, and red sneakers. Her hair is reddish-brown and her eyes are purple.

"You know." said Elise "These five days have been quiet without Dan."

"True." nodded Chris "He has been in jail for trashing a convenance store. I think they let him out because it was someone else."

"Oh no you know what that means." shook the head of Elise

"He will be coming here in asking me to help him in his revenge." sighed Chris "Like always."

Then all of a sudden a slam is heard in the background from the front door and Dan storms into the living room looking pissed and angry as ever. Elise and Chris just sit there looking at the man who is huffing and puffing.

"Chris." said Dan "I need your help in getting my revenge…..my revenge." Then snarling at the name "The Great Cornholio."

"The who?" asked Elise and Chris.

"THE GREAT CORNHOLIO." Roared Dan.

"Uh Dan are feeling all right." Asked Elise "You did get hit in the back of the head."

I'm fine you red-haired dolt." said Dan "I located where this Cornholio lives, come on Chris."

"Are you sure you didn't drop the soap in the jail showers." Chris grinned at him

"NO." yelled Dan who is rubbing his butt a bit.

"So where is this Cornholio?" asked Elise

"Some loser town called Highland Texas." said Dan "I found some reports on the internet while I was in Jail."

"Oh boy Texas and I just won a ticket to go to the Texas Rangers game." said Chris "I can smell all that Texas food. Elise do you want to come."

"No." said Elise "I'm going out of town to see my bother."

"Come on already let's go when we are young." said Dan as he stopped his foot and stormed out of door.

"Keep your pants on Dan." chuckled Chris "I'm coming."

"OH SHUT UP CHRIS." Yelled Dan from outside.

Chris walked out in which he drives Dan to Highland Texas.

* * *

**Seven days later **

**Highland, Texas **

**Beavis and Butt-heads house **

**20XX**

**0:2:45:0 hours afternoon time**

**FLUSH**

That sound echoed throughout the ruined home of Beavis and Butt-Head, Beavis opens the door to the bathroom and walks out as his shoes echoed all around. Beavis sits down in the couch for he is sitting next to Butt-head. Butt-head looks like he has a severe overbite, wears dental braces, and has brown hair and squinted eyes. His top gums are often exposed, he is wearing an AC/DC light gray shirt with red shorts and black sneakers.

"Uhhhh…..Hey Beavis." said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh, huh Where have you been."

"Heh, meh, heh, heh" said Beavis "Taking a poop" with a slight squeak in his voice "Meh, heh, heh."

"Uhh….no Beavis" said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh, huh Uh, before that."

"Meh, heh, meh, heh…uh I don't know….I forgot." said Beavis "Meh, heh What the hell is this crap?" he looked at the television of a music video that is on.

"Uhhh….they call it Gangnam," said Butt-head "huh, uh, uh huh a bunch of butt holes dancing to a style."

"Meh, heh, heh." Said Beavis "meh, heh, heh…People dance to this crap."

"Uh-huh." said Butt-head "Uhh….huh, huh, uh check it out they call him PSY, he looks like Mr. Miyagi."

"Meh, heh, heh no way butt-head" said Beavis "He looks like Hong Kong Phooey. Heh, meh, heh, heh. Check it out butt-head I'm doing Gangnam style."

Beavis humps the couch.

Then both of them laugh on.

Butt-head changes the channel.

"Uh….huh, huh." said Butt-head "What do you want to do Beavis? Huh, huh, huh, huh."

"Meh, heh, uhh….?" said Beavis "We can always go to school, get an education and do home work, meh, heh, heh."

Butt-head looks at him sharply and slaps Beavis over and over a few times.

"Ow, ow." said Beavis "Meh, heh it is nacho day tomorrow at school, not like we'll learn anything heh, heh"

"Uh….Beavis are you stupid." said Butt-head "It's summer dumb ass, huh, uh."

"Meh, heh, oh…yeah I forgot." said Beavis "We can go to Maxi mart and score, heh, heh, meh."

"Uh…were there dude." said Butt-head." Uh, huh, huh, huh."

Beavis and Butt-head get up from the couch in which they leave the house.

* * *

**Highland, Texas **

**Maxi Mart **

**20XX**

**0:3:50:0 hours afternoon time **

Dan's car that in which Chris is driving made a full stop at the side of the road near the Maxi Mart. Dan is still grumbling all the way and plotting his revenge on The Great Cornholio. Chris just shook his head as the car came to a stop as it is a sunny day out.

"It's about time we got here." said Dan who slammed the car door and stepped out of the vehicle "Stupid long drive….ugh."

"Well it wasn't my fault." said Chris "I told you we should of took that right turn to Albuquerque!"

"My sense of direction is better than you simpleton." said Dan "This is Highland Texas and at least we didn't end up in Pizmo Beach."

"Right." said Chris as he rolled his eyes "I'm hungry I'm going to go in the conveyance store and get something to eat."

"How can you think of food at a time like this." growled Dan "We should be preparing for Revenge, by finding him first." Then yelled "I know you're here Cornholio, I have a plan Chris this Cornholio likes Teepee or Toilet Paper. We steal the shipment of Toilet paper and force Cornholio to show himself, we take him down or we raid a church of the All mighty Bunghole and destroy it." He smiled sinisterly "Oh the glorious revenge of pain, suffering and and….and. Chris where did you go."

"Sorry Dan I didn't hear what you had to say." said Chris as he is walking to the Maxi Mart "I'm going to get something to eat."

"Fine." said Dan as he huffed a bit "I need to use the toilet anyway."

Chris walks to the Maxi Mart and Dan walks to the side parking lot of the Maxi Mart grumbling about this and that as he has many plans of revenge to take out the Great Cornholio. He kicked a can as he approached the bathrooms along the side in which one is men's and the other is women's Dan was about to grab the knob to head inside but suddenly the door swings open as Dan is smacked in the face and sent flying to the ground as a flushing noise is heard. Butt-head walked out and headed to the front of the Maxi Mart.

"Ah" said Dan as he grabbed his noise and got up "Stupid doors I hate people who do that."

He walks in the men's bathroom, about a few minutes later Dan walks out of the Bathroom grumbling and even madder than ever. The flush is heard in the background as he is back outside _These Texas idiots need to clean the bathroom, stupid redneck trash _thought Dan as he will head to the front to find out what Chris is up to. But all of a sudden he hears a noise coming from the women's bathroom. Dan goes to investigate as he hears strange sounds coming from the bathroom, could it be, could it be. He had to know, he had to know now.

"GET OUT HERE." said Dan as he kicked the door a few times, along with yelling "CORNHOLIO AND FACE MY WRATH OF REVENGE UPON YOU."

"I'm coming." said a voice of an attractive woman

"You can't fool me with that fake voice." said Dan "Great cornholio."

The door opens and Dan gasps in shock.

A woman steps out in ragged clothing rollers in her hair, unshaven legs, circular bandages over the corns on her feet and often a cigarette hanging out of her mouth as Dan is taken back. Guess he is wrong in which he could almost throw up at what he sees before him. She is the most hidious woman he has even seen. She smiles as she smokes her cigarrette and farts a bit as she scratches her butt with her left hand.

"You want something boy." said the woman "Because I got something for you."

"No, no." said Dan as he steps back "I must be going."

"Yeah going." nodded the woma with a smirk "In with me."

Her shadows looms over hand as he is grabbed and thrown into the woman's bathroom. She closes the door, but puts the sign out that reads _If this room is rocking, don't come a knocking_.

"NOOOOO" screamed Dan from the inside.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the front of the Maxi Mart Butt-head had come back from the Bathroom as Beavis is sitting there eating Natchos and a drink, Butt-Head has his food as well in which where he left it. They started to eat as Chris came upon them and looked down at the two akward teenagers.

"Do they still have natchos inside." said Chris

"Uh-uh." nodded Beavis "Meh, heh, heh, heh"

"Nachos rule." said Butt-head "Go get some dude."

"Thanks." said Chris as he went inside to get some Nachos."

"Meh, heh, heh hey Butt-head." said Beavis "I just thought of something, heh, heh,heh."

"Uh….uh-oh, huh, huh, huh." said Butt-head

"Meh, heh, heh, Shut-up Butt-head" said Beavis "I really thought of something meh, heh heh."

"Uh…Ok if it's about school or homework I'll kick your ass." Said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh, huh"

"Meh, heh Does Doctor Doom." said Beavis "Spank his monkey."

"Uh…..Does Doctor Doom even have a monkey to spank." said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh, huh."

"Meh, heh, heh, Oh yeah." said Beavis.

Both boys laughed as Chris came back and sat down to eat.

"These natchos are great." said Chris "What's so funny?"

"uh…nothing." said Butt-head "huh, huh, huh so like where are you from dude."

"Meh, heh, heh I think he is from England." said Beavis "Their wussies, heh, heh Wussies, Wussies."

Chris laughed "No I'm from California."

Both Beavis and Butt-head laugh a bit.

"Uh, huh, huh, huh California." said Butt-head "Huh, huh, huh, huh"

"Meh, heh, yeah California." said Beavis "Heh, heh, heh."

"Ok yeah I got the joke." Chris rolled his eyes "My friend is looking for someone."

"Uh….Huh, huh, huh, Are you looking to score." said Butt-head

"Meh, heh, yeah we're going to score" said Beavis "Chicks, heh, heh yeah, yeah."

"Uh…Beavis I'm going to score, while you go spank your monkey." said Butt-head

"Meh, heh, Shut-up Butt-head." said Beavis "Welcome to Highland and stuff meh, heh,"

"Thanks." nodded Chris "My friend is looking for someone called the Great Cornholio

Both boys give him blank stares.

"Uh, right." said Chris "He likes Teepee for his Bunghole."

They still give him blank stares.

"He serves the All Mighty Bung hole." said Chris as he noticed them staring even more "Uh, never mind."

* * *

So all of them eat nachos in silence in which meanwhile Dan storms out of the women's bathroom in which he finally escaped that woman that horrible woman _I thought I was going to die, just you wait once I am done with Cornholio you are next, stupid place to live_ thought Dan as his attention is focused on a female cop as she placed a ticket on the wind shield of his car.

Dan growled in annoyance and ran over to the female cop to scream at her. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks and turns to see Chris with two teenage boys, his eyes narrowed at on of them. Finally it is him as Dan licked his lips and zipped up his fly then he ran yelling.

"Revenge will be mine." said Dan "I finally found you Great C-"

Dan is hit by a green car as he is sent flying into a garbage bin with a splat sound. A Caucasian man steps out of the vehicle he looks rough and tough as he has an appearance of a violent criminal. His name is Todd Ianuzzi he has blonde hair, sunglasses.

He is dressed in a shirt, jeans and boots. Beavis and Butt-head looked shocked as they see the man they idolize who has beaten them up more than once. Todd walked over to check on his car and found a dent, he looked pissed as he grabbed the man from out of the garbage bin and pinned him against the wall.

"Meh, heh, whoa!" said Beavis "It's Todd, heh, heh, heh how's it going man."

"Uh….Todd rules." said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh, huh"

"Shut-up you turds." said Todd "This punk dented my car."

"Who are you calling a punk." said Dan "Unhand me you muscle bound miscreant before a really get angry."

Todd laughed.

"Uh…hey beavis check out that dude shirt." said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh, it says Jerk."

"Meh, heh, heh oh yeah" said Beavis "Bet the back says _Off_ meh, heh heh Boing."

This time Chris even laughed.

"Uh…that due looks like uh, huh that guy on Hardcore Pawn." said Butt-head "Uh, huh, huh."

"No way Butt-head." said Beavis "Meh, heh, heh he looks like that uh British guy heh, heh Russell Brand."

"Uh, huh, huh, oh yeah." said Butt-head

Both boys laughed.

"Chris show him what happens when I get angry." said Dan "I don't look like him you idiot."

"You know this Punk." said Todd as he looked at Chris.

"Never seen him before in my life" said Chris. "Oh that reminds me I will be going to the Rangers game." Chris finished his food "See you later Dan." Chris walks off to head to the car and onward to the baseball game.

"Traitor." snarled Dan "Your insubordination will not be tolerated, once I get revenge on Cornholio and the woman….I uh. Never mind you are next on the list Chris."

"Time to take you for a ride." said Todd as the man opens the trunk and throws Dan inside shutting it as he got in to drive away "You dirt bags are next." Todd drives away.

The boys go do something else.

* * *

Meanwhile Todd is driving out of the middle of no where as his gang joined them. The man called Dan in the back is screaming and annoyaning the hell out of him, Todd is planning on killing him anyway. Finally arriving out of the middle of no where he stopped as he got out in which his gang got out of his vehicles as well. Todd opened the trunk and throws Dan out by the collar as Dan landed on the ground in which he almost bounched on the ground.

"Do your worst." said Dan "Pain means nothing to me, you stupid twit."

"Really." smiled Todd as he draws out his gun from his back, placed a clip inside and loaded it up "Any last words."

"Is that the best you can do." snarled Dan "You red-necked imbecile."

Todd pulled back on the trigger as he is about to fire, but suddenly a slicing sound is heard as the gun split in half by a sword. Todd blinked once as he sees a fist going to his face as he is knocked back and then kicked in which he stumbles backwards on his car trunk. Then suddenly the car trunk slams on top of his head with a cracking sound in which Todd may have a fractured skull. Standing before them on top of Todd's car is woman but unknown to Dan its Elise in her ninja gear, black colored "ninja suit" with a red scarf along with that she is holding a katana sword.

She moves like her codename Dancing Shadow as she leaped in the air and kicked another one in the stomach, then she used the back edge of her sword to knock him out. Another man pulls out a knife as Elise moved like lighting in which she ended the man with two slashes from her sword. The other man grabbed her as she quicky used her legs to grab the man's neck and flip him over as a sickening thud is heard on the ground. Then she narrowed her eyes as the last men ran for their lives. She turned to Dan then disappering in a blink of an eye.

"That's right no one messes with me." said Dan "Now time for my revenge on Cornholio."

* * *

Dan spent the last several hours following and plotting to get revenge on Cornholio or Beavis for that matter, but something kept getting in his way in a way of unfortunate events. This irritated him ever further. Everywhere Beavis and Butt-head go during the last several hours, the teenagers seemed to being doing something stupid and destructive.

Like playing frog baseball as Dan got in in the face by a frog with warts or Beavis putting a fire cracker in a bowling ball to luanch it as the ball hit Dan in the stomach. But that didn't stop him from tying to strike but as bad luck happened his reveng still came up short.

More things occurred like annoying people. A kid call Stewart thought he was Russell Brand, or a Christian guy wanting money or some other idiotic nonsense. Dan hates this town already as he went door to door screaming at the person in looking for Cornholio in where he lives.

If fact he got beat up by some a high school coach who acts like a drill army sergeant, or some hippy teacher who hit him over the head with a guitar, Dan really hates people now as they are all on his list. But first he needed to get revenge on Cornholio. With no sleep in which Dan is so angry he lost all rational thoughts. He found them the next day at their school as it seems summer school is in session.

"GREAT CORNHOLIO." yelled Dan "GET OUT HERE NOW

However a large angry crowd had followed him brandishing torches and other hand held weapons.

"Oh great it's." Dan rolled his eyes "A collection of morons, don't worry as god as my witness your all next on my revenge list. First Cornholio then all of you." He sneered at them.

A screech is heard and a slight crash as Chris accidentally hit the sign of the Highland High sign as the sign wobbled a bit.

"Chris." snarled Dan "You'll pay for that and leaving me alone as god as my witness I will."

"Well at least I am here." said Chris

"**CRASH**"

A thunderbolt hit the Highland high sign as it broke off and as Dan looked up he felt his life flashing before him. The sign slams on top of him with a sickening splat. Everyone eyes bugged out of their sockets as even Beavis and Butt-head heard all the commotion to them it was cool. Chris ran over to check on Dan.

"Uh is he dead." Chris asked the crowd "Sorry for bringing him here, he just wanted revenge. It would seem mentioning god is a bad idea even in Texas."

The crow looked and nodded.

"I better call Elise." said Chris as he takes his cell phone and calls her as the phone conversation lasted only five minutes.

"Meh, heh, heh "Hey Butt-head." said Beavis "Who is Cornholio? Meh, heh, heh."

"Uh…some mexican dude, uh, huh, huh." said Butt-head "He was looking for, huh, huh, huh….what a butt-munch."

"Meh, heh, heh there serving natchos let's go." said Beavis

"Oh natchos" said Chris "Wait for me."

Everyone left the scene.

**The End **


End file.
